Now I don't mean to sound like I did everything at home, but I did like to claim I did everything at home. When a friend or relative would come over I could simply say, "Ugh, sorry about this mess. My wife is such a bastard." Even if it wasn't her fault, I had to give the impression that I kept my house in order (i watch a lot of MAD MEN). Even if it was just the two of us at home I could always claim that I had just done the dishes and it was her turn. She was so busy raising our child, working, making dnner, and cleaning all the things guys don't know about (dusting? what's that?) to remember if she did the dishes or not.
I finally figured it out, that's why we get married. Now hear me out. Men aren't mentally capable of taking care of ourselves. We NEED women to dress us, feed us and keep our surroundings clean. If it wasn't for my wife I'd be wearing adidas workout pants and a Foo Fighters t-shirt 6 days a week. One the 7th day, Vikings jersey. She makes me dress slightly better (or at least change clothes more often). Also, if not for wives, men would eat from gas stations only. The fridge would be used for beer only and the oven for storing the dirty dishes we no longer had room for. I would eat chuckwagan sandwiches from the gas station for most meals. Wives make us eat healthier because they want to keep us around longer (and they don't want us morbidly obese). Now that my wife is 6 hours away I'm expected to dress myself, clean up after myself & make good food choices. Does this sound a little like a mom sending her kid off to college?
Tonight both my wife and mother would be happy to know at age 32 I finally learned my lesson. I'm proud to say that tonight, the dishes are done. I ate a proper meal. And my Vikings jersey is mostly clean.
Wives & Mothers (some, not all) are well worth having :) I am glad you realized that....now only if more husbands would be put in a situation where they were able to experience what it is like to have to completely take care of themselves & their homes, like you are in....advantage is that soon your wife & son will be home with you so you only have to be uber responsible until then ;)
ReplyDeleteLove this post Scott!
ReplyDeleteI am calling you out on this one. You don't watch Mad Men. If you did, you would not have learned your lesson. You would have made your mistress clean. Done.
ReplyDelete