I'M A WINNER

I just got done with the 1st Annual South APT HWY 51 North Minocqua, WI Awards Night! 

I may have officially reached my breaking point tonight.  I'm too social (and creative) to live on my own.  Starting December 13th, 2011 I moved away from my family and friends.  I've been in a small apartment in Northern Wisconsin.  I relocated to take on a massive challenge of raising a restaurant from the ashes like the mighty phoenix!  So far, professionally I have been successful.  The store is doing quite well although I feel like I've barely scratched the surface.

Socially, I've met some very nice people here.  Jeff & Julie have been fantastic people!  They've introduced me to people and given me insight into the area.  Others have been either coworkers or people in the community.  Mostly just acquintences really. 

I've been fortunate enough to feel how much people "back home" have apprecited me.  Whether it was missing my volunteer work, my fundraising ability or my friendship.  I really appreciate my friends that are back in Minnesota.  There's so much of a connection to where I've come from.  The people that are there and the people that have moved on.  I really hope that someday I can feel the same way about Minocqua.

I think the Blackduck/Tenstrike/Bemidji area is so special.  Being there you might not notice it, but looking from the outside I can see the community and connections.  I'm so proud that I came from a truly small town.

Thank you to my friends and family back in Northern Minnesota.  You helped me become who I am.  I'll always use you as the measure that I compare every other place I live.  This weekend my family moves to Minocqua.  It's been over 2 months since we've been together full time.  I was already feverishly in love with my wife and my son is my best friend.  It's been difficult to be away from them but, wow, absence does make the heart grow fonder!

So tonight in the absence of my family and friends I held an awards ceremony in my lonesome apartment!  It was called "The Scottie's."  I am proud to say that among the several paper mache people that I've created and placed around the apartment, I was the winner of 7 out of 10 awards tonight!  Being very modest in nature I won't tell you what I won, rather what I did not win.  I did not win 'People's Choice,' 'Most Unique Way to Make Toast Without a Toaster,' and 'Best On Screen Couple.'  I was thrilled to win 'Best Song,' and 'Best Special Effects in a Musical.'

So, I miss my family and friends (and contact with the outside world).  But I have managed to entertain myself.  Oh, and something about appreciating people and where you come from.  (sorry my acceptence speach ran long)  GOODNIGHT!

and now, in no particular order, a list of people back home i wish to send a special thanks to:  Justin 'Gus' Gustafson, Chance 'Horse Meat' Adams, Heather Forseen, Cara 'Carol' Townsend, The Bemidji State Beavers Hockey Team, KAXE, The Hoover Family, My Wife aka. My Bride, Tim Grace & family, The Skyberg Family (i think about you daily), Pour Willies (No Pissy Attitudes), The Baggenstoss Clan, Babe City Rollers, Stacy Swedberg and her 7 children, The Moen Family (Kylie's my favorite, don't tell), Kaleb Lienbach, The Pond, North Twin Lake, Papa Murphy's Take N' Bake of Bemidji, The Gustafson Family, Blackduck Class of 95 - 2000, Kendall Merrill, Cedar Rapids Lodge, Erin Bertrand and the Twins (even the gay one), Video Express, Carmen Kotula, People I attended BSU with (fm90 4-life), The Merrills of Hines and I-Falls, and special thanks to those of you that moved on from the area - spread the Northwoods ALL OVER!  *if i forgot you then that means i'm mean spirited and hateful or i just forgot.  : )  SKOL Vikes!

Partners!

WARNING:  Some parts of this post are taken from a snippit of a previous facebook post by myself.

Marriage is much like the movie 'Lethal Weapon', being married means having a partner that always has to have your back, even if they kind of hate you right now. With Riggs and Murtaugh, it was because they were thrown together by the job; in married life, it's because you tricked somebody into thinking you were a responsible human being long enough for them to sign up with you.



Two Cops.  Glover carries a weapon...Gibson is one.  He's the only L.A. cop registered as a...LETHAL WEAPON!



I told my wife this while saying "aint that right....partner." and then made a pistol with my fingers, pointed at her and winked.

Karen said, "I'm getting too old for this S###! and then calmly walked away as a huge explosion happened behind her.

BOOM!

I've decided to write a television pilot based on a cross between a buddy cop movie and marriage.  Either the two cops are married to eachother and work together or two cops who's cases are intertwined with the daily lives of a married couple.  Either way, I'll be lazy on the title and simply call it, "PARTNERS."  Pretty sure NBC will pick it up, if not then I'll add something about Vampires and sell it to the WB.

I love 80's action movies and buddy cop flicks!  It goes back to my father letting me stay up late to watch movies like "Die Hard," "Lethal Weapon," and anything with Govorner Schwarzenegger.  I especially liked the ones with the goofy/weak sidekick and how they somehow managed to get past their differences and work together.  They did whatever it took to get the job done, even if it meant breaking the rules! 

The two cops were always mismatched and forced to work together.  Despite their differences, they exploited the best in each of them and thought outside the box.  Sometimes it led to hillarious consequences! 

My wife and I are just like the detectives in the movies.  We are different in our own ways, but we have the same job/goal.  To make the marriage work despite our differences!  Karen is a bit of an introvert, and I, an extrovert!  SUPRISE!  Karen is modest, smart and level headed.  I am not the least bit modest, not very smart (i thrive on charm and hope people overlook the smarts), and sometimes I'm impulsive.  She would be the serious, by-the-book one and I would be the shoot-from-the-hip one.  That's how our marriage works.

Whenever I put my sunglasses on
the music from CSI: Miams plays

I trust my wifes judgement and decisions.  She appreciates my wild nature.  How could she not love my charming spontaneity?  But like the movies, Karen not only goes along for the ride, but she suprises by sometimes throwing the book out the window!  I learn from her and she learns from me.

On their own the two cops couldn't get the job done but together, they can take down the Columbian Drug Lord and save the girl while destroying and entire city block.  Together my wife and I survive our marriage and raise our child while destroying an entire city block.

She's trouble and plays by her own rules.

In conclusion; my wife would be the cool one with the big gun and the tough lines.  I would be the wise-ass with the one-liners.  Together we would be......(wait for it)............PARTNERS!

All we nee is an angry police cheif yelling,"I'm sick and tired of making excuses for you two! You’re an embarrassment to the department! You're off the case and off the force. Your badges, your sunglasses, now."

PARTNERS!

coming this fall to FOX (and then cancelled mid-season and replaced by a crappy reality show)

*to learn more about buddy cop movies please check out "Beverly Hills Cop 1-3"  Lethal Weapon 1-4"  Die Hard 1-4"  "48 Hours"  "Another 48 Hours"  "Rush Hour 1-3"  or your local library.

FACT: "You Oughta Know," "You're So Vain," & "Rocket Man" are all about Dave Coulier

Dave Coulier's comedy routine can be classified as "not very funny."

FACT:  Dave Coulier (pronounced Cool-Yay) is the main obsession of most all female and bi-curious male recording artists of the last 40 years.  As usual, I will most likely not site my sources or fact check.  Let's begin.

In 1959 in St. Clair Shores, Michigan David Alan Coulier was born.  The music industry and pop culture (or should i say "Pop Coulier") would never be the same again.

On April 17, 1972 a then unknown country/folk singer named Elton John unleashed a rock opera straight from the heavens known as, "Rocket Man."  At first glance one might think this has nothing to do with Dave Coulier but then you notice this line.  "I'm not the man they think I am at home, Oh no no no...I'm a Rocket Man."  And then, just 15 years later, Dave Coulier was a featured member of the smash hit tv show FULL HOUSE!!!  A little odd if you ask me (perhaps even a little Space Oddity - that's a David Bowie reference).

pictured: country/folk legand Elton John.

FACT:  Dave Coulier played the character of "Uncle Joey" on Full House for 8 Seasons.  His catch phrase, "Come on now, CUT IT OUT!"  Also featured hillarious hand guestures as if he was cutting something while he delivered the classic line.

I know what you're thinking, "Come on now, CUT IT OUT!"  Okay, so maybe that's a bit of a stretch but check this out.  In December of 1972 a street performer named Carly Simon released a song called, "You're So Vain."  NINETEEN SEVENTY TWO!!!  AGAIN!!!  Carly Simon has never declared "who" the "you" is in the song!  If you claim that "you" "knew" the "you" that she was singing "to" then Eff "you" for lying!  Carly Simon has stated that the song is a critical profile of a self-absorbed lover.  You know "who" else is a self-absorbed lover?  John Stamos!  He just happened to star alongside one Mr. Sir Dave Coulier on a little program called "Full House" sum 15 years after the release of that song.  Ooooweeeeoooo!

Not to be confused with her car commercial hit song, "You're So Van."

FACT:  Dave Coulier was a onetime lover of American Recording Artist Alanis Morissette.  He has stated that her first hit song "You Oughta Know" was in fact, about him.

On June 1 (ready for it?) 1974 (urgh, just missed it be 2 years) Alanis Morissette was born in Narnia or Canada or something.  Her debut album (the highest selling debut album by any female in the U.S. & Worldwide) "Jagged Little Pill" featured a song called, "You Oughta Know."  The song has been stated by both parties to be about His Lord & Majesty Sir Dave Coulier.  I guess, you oughta already knew that.  (wink)

Aaannnddd THAT is how Dave Coulier (aka Uncle Joey from Full House) shaped all music from 1972 forward!

Where are they now?

I AM MAN! Rrrawwrr!

As I get older I expect to become a more grizzled and rugged man.  I'd like to have swagger like John Wayne or leathery skin like Clint Eastwood.  Believe it or not, I wasn't born Super Manly.  It's been something I've been working on for some time.  I suppose I can brag about being born in the front seat of a GMC Pickup truck (true).  Or being shot in the back with a bow & arrow (true).  Or being hunted down in the woods by a blood thirsty bear (not true).  I've spent time outdoors hunting, hiking, camping, and canoeing (true).

I still have that shirt from this picture...and the bears head on a necklace as a reminder.

I'd like to take a solo kayak trip through the Boundry Waters, hike for days down an untouched trail, or build something out of stone with my bare hands.  Turns out I get bored (and weird) if I spend too much time by myself and I didn't pay any attention during shop class. 

My idea of being a man has changed a lot over the past couple of years.  Instead o being a tough-ass wise cracking anti-hero like Bruce Willis (in any movie featuring Bruce Willis).  I look up to my friends with kids, jobs, and a wife that they adore.  One of my friends just celebrated the birth of his fourth child.  He absolutley loves his wife and they communicate well.  I look up to him.  He doesn't walk with swagger like The Duke (that might not be swagger, it might be sore ass from riding horses).  He doesn't have leathery tough skin like Clint Eastwood (i guess i don't really want a face that looks/feels like a catchers mitt).  He looks and acts like a great dad and husband.  He can even sew and probably can cook.  I'm pretty sure he wears dockers khaki's on the weekend.  I've got other friends that have suffered through divorce, death and financial hardship.  They worked through it, they didn't give up.

I know I get a little sentimental because my wife and son are 6 hours away right now but I'd feel the same either way.  I try my best to spend as much time with my son.  Someday he'll be old enough to believe his dad isn't super cool and fun (he'll be wrong).  I attempt to communicate with my wife.  I sometimes forget that I'm blown away by how funny and sensible she is.  For those of you that don't know, she has a great sense of humor (she has to with my son & I). 

My favorite adventure!

Here's to the dad's that stick by their family!  We're taking a way better adventure than the guys in the action movies.  I now pronounce you manly!

This actually happened to me and Karen.  Good thing the photographer from Mans Life was there.

Also, if you wear khakis on the weekend you look extra manly if the above magazine cover should happen to you! 

ps.  that's going to be our Christmas card next year.